If I am not going to believe in myself and all the things I can do, who would?
I had this heart to heart conversation with my barkada (this is a tagalog word which means “circle of friends” or “one of your circle of friends). It’s about all my problems for the past 4 years and it’s with every aspect of my life – family, friends, lovelife, school, work and many more in between. My friend, Lia, asked me why am I too positive about all things and how come I am not breaking down at this point?
I never noticed it since our conversation but I reflected at that moment and answered her, if I’m not going to believe in myself, who would? If everyone else lost their faith in me and believed more in what other people would say, what’s the point of worrying about how they think about me? It’s useless and my body can’t handle anymore hurt in my life. Whatever happened, I just thought that I can make a good out of it like for example, I made it as an inspiration to write poems and songs for my band. Other thoughts came in like a series of flashbacks of what happened but the biggest learning that I had is that I said to myself that I would never want to be like them. I would never ever do the things they did to me to other people… ever. Whatever it is, I believe in mercy and nobody is ever worth hurting.