Take Chances Now

I have a chance to be great and I have the chance now. – Marco Mendoza, Suits 2

I started watching Suits again just to catch up with the latest season. I really don’t know what season I was watching  when I stopped. So what I did is watch it all over again — oh please, I swear I didn’t get bored at all. Gabriel Macht is so awesome and I’d be willing to marry him any time of the day. Lol. I’m stopping my “kilig” moments now.

So then I encountered the line above by a character named Marco Mendoza. I won’t go much further with his story but the line really struck me. He’s right.

We always wait for our chance and be patient that there is a time for our dreams or goals for that matter. But isn’t that everyday is a chance — a chance to be great, to be better than yesterday, to right mistakes, to forgive, to even make a mistake for the first time. It is always a chance to do something about something.

It’s not always up to us, the decisions? Yes, but what do we do when we wait? We sit in a chair and wait for an interesting news to hear? NO. We do our best. We do the best of what we can do and we maximize every bit of it. TOMORROW CAN NOT ALWAYS BE CERTAIN. Why not take a chance today?

Somebody (Original Composition)

Wake up Mr. Sun
Bring me some light
Bring me some space

It’s been so long
Since I’ve heard it cry
And the rain would not stop,
Would not stop crying

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Oh, I’m stranded in my room,
Catching for my breath,
I need some air

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Get me out of here,
Somewhere safe and dry
I need sunlight

Somebody, get me some help
I’ve been stranded in my room
Waiting for someone
To save me from this rain

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Get me out of this cold cold place
Keep me safe and dry

written August 22, 2013

Maya’s Turn: I Think I Lost Her

I found this on my old blog. This may be over a year ago but I love going back to blog entries I have written because it helps me know more about myself — how and why I am like this, how I think, how I build my dreams now. It also helps me learn things over and over again just to make sure I really did learn those things. Haha! Here it goes…

I never knew that she walked out on me until recently I find myself looking for her. I keep on finding her every other time because somehow and somewhere in my mind, part of me knew she existed. It wasn’t a dream. There goes flashbacks right in front of me. Scenes so vague and beautiful, so light and cheerful, contented and no longingness for something. I know her and I know she was there, she existed.

Have you ever had that feeling of being lost? I think I lost myself more than three years now. This is not the typical story of being lost – finding yourself, what you really want, etc. Not that one. I’m considering that maybe I didn’t lose myself. Probably, forgotten was the better word for that. Yes, forgotten.

I forgot who I am. I forgot what it is like to be me. I saw my plurk account yesterday. It was so random. I have nothing to do. So I searched for my older accounts. I saw my old blogs, my friendster, my myspace, my multiply. I was totally different, I think? From my old blogs, the way I think and see things – it was almost the same now but somehow I am sure I am wiser. Maybe it was with HOW I deal with stuff. How I am a happy-go-lucky-thankful-blessed-fun girl who talks to anyone and friends with everyone. Everything was real and true. Everything was light.  Myself, my environment, the people around me, the responsibilities and work I am taking. Somehow, I missed that girl in me. I don’t know where did she go. I think I lost her.

Maybe because I lost myself in giving everything to the ones important to me, to the one I love, to her specifically. That when you love, you have given everything you can give and everything that you can’t. It is when I realized that I had lived her life in her world and not mine. It is when I made friends with her friends and not find my own sets of friends. It was when I pressured myself to dream her dream and not mine. I tried to fit myself when I shouldn’t even tried in the first place. It was then I forgot who I was. And that was too much. I didn’t even realize it until the day I was left alone.

I miss her – that girl who used to be me. I don’t know where to start but I want her back so badly. I don’t know how to pick myself up. And I want to go to the ways things were before everything had happened or at least to who I was before everything fell apart.

 

Love Is Easy

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. Real love is simple, everyday kind of thing. A smile, a hug, an encouragement. Continuous love without effort. –

-MFG

I recently opened an app on facebook. It’s called Message From God. Yes, people make these and somewhat share thoughts and advise to people. Maybe you can say that it is quite similar to WHAT WOULD JESUS DO. Or for non Christians more like a message from a fortune cookie or a horoscope I guess.

So there, the message above is the one I got. It made me reflect and agree to it. LOVE IS EASY.

We make it complicated. We make it hard to understand. We make it unreachable. We make it as if it is a big goal to achieve. But love is here and in everything.

You can get it with a smile, a touch, a tap on the back, a hug or a kiss. Love is a Hi or Hello from a friend or a stranger. Love is a sorry from your enemies. Love is respect for the elders. Love is a passion for your art.

Love is simple and it is not painful if and only if we love selflessly.

The only hindrance of love is to think too much of ourselves — to love and to ask for something in return, to love but to set limits, to love but don’t share happiness.

Eunice’s Heart

One of the great things you can ever witness in this life is people’s passion. Seeing one perfome live with all her heart and see how much she enjoys it can move a a thousand.

Recently, I discovered this local OPM rock band named Gracenote. I don’t watch tv nor listen to the radio. Apparently, they’re famous here in the Philippines and I don’t know them. Well, that’s me. I most prolly prefer the indie scene soul, techno, jazz, dream pop, etc. They sound more like a combination of Paramore, Yellowcard, No Doubt and Sum 41 combined. But here they are scattered all over youtube and I can’t stop watching their videos especially their vocalist, Eunice Jorge.

Eunice also plays the violin, guitar, piano and drums. She’s no poser. I swear I would know. She’s really great. She plays classical and so as rock. She reminds me of who I might have become if I am not taking too much responsibility at home and in our music school. If I had made time for what I want and search for inspirations just anywhere in town… I could’ve been singing or playing my heart out just they she does it now. The way she sings, it’s so energetic. You can see how much she enjoys every inch of music around her — may it be their compo, a cover or even classical.

She’s taking me back to the conservatory I guess. For all the reasons I left and never want to come back, she’s flipping it back. She’s making me think that they are a lot of possible things which I didn’t see and I never thought I could see anymore. I hated school. I got turned off with classical music and the peoplr around it because of what I experienced. It was so hard for me to even listen to it more so play it. I turned my back to everything related to classical.

But there she is with her band, all studied classical music (I think) and I can feel their passion even with simply hearing them. No limitations, no judgements of different genres. They are open to everything and they enjoy every sense of music in here possible.

I can’t stop listening to them. I can’t stop watching their videos on youtube. It makes me idle for a while but it keeps me thinking WHAT’S THIS FOR? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I know I don’t need to make a decision on wether or not I’ll go back to the conservatory but I want what they do or maybe I just want to enjoy music as they do — no complications and just for the love of it. I still want to continue writing compositions and I still want my band to play more gigs.

It’s the heart. That’s where you can see right through every person. That’s where you’ll see there passion and we can never be blinded by it but only INSPIRED.

But thank you, whatever it that you do, your passion it hit me hard (in a good way of course), thank you Eunice! Thank you Gracenote!

Risk Taker

I wanna fall in love deeply and I never wanna fall out of it.

Yes, that’s how strong I am and no matter what hurt me yesterday because I loved, I will never stop loving at all. I am willing to risk everything again and I am willing to be hurt again. Because that’s how you love, there are no reasons, no buts and you don’t give up.