This Is What I Want

I think I never felt so sure in what I wanted until now.

Why should I be chosen to be part of the 5th ELEMENTS MUSIC CAMP 2014?

Well, I don’t know how to answer this exactly. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I’m not quite sure which are the reasons and which are just about my problems in life. I can’t really tell the difference. So how can I ever enumerate them? Whatever. Here it goes…

1. If they ask me this question, I might just answer BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO. I NEED TO. Music is basically my life and I can’t imagine having another outlet. Music somehow keeps me sane.

2. The instructors are my inspiration. I look up to them. I am motivated and inspired whenever I watch them play or sing at their gigs. And even just listening to their songs. I appreciate every ounce of it. I am moved by it. Sometimes songs give me chills.. I even cry and I can’t tell how it happens. Lyrics are goot but the music, it strikes me through the heart and stays in me like a drug. I like how it feels and I want to let it out through my own music. It gives me passion to my craft. They inspire me and I would really loved it if I become one of many others’ inspiration too. It’s like changing the world… scratch that! It’s like saving the world .. exagge much? Well at least makes the world somewhat a better and lighter place to live in.

3. I’m not that good. I know I have something and I want to be better. There’s this chaos in my heart fighting with my head and I want to let it out through music. I can’t make everyone appreciate what I write. In fact, I don’t care what they think. I want to express myself. I want to make music and I want to be good enough to give justice to my thoughts. I want to produce music. I am in love with it and I can’t just let it slip away without trying hard enough. I know it’s a bit silly but this is what I want. I believe in myself and I want to make myself better by learning a whole lot more — seeing through others’ perspectives, beliefs and passion.

4. I am a music instructor but who teaches me? I teach mostly kids violin, guitar, ukulele and high school bands. I love what I do and I love how they look up to me as their teacher. But I feel like I am limited. I think I stopped learning when I focused in teaching. I can’t study for now because of lack of funds. My band and I broke up. No gigs. I have limited sources to grow. I want to be better. I want to be better for myself and for my students. I don’t wanna ever stop learning and this right here is an opportunity to learn from the masters and it is for free.

Wow. I never realized I wanted this thing bad. I’ve never been so sure of something for a very long time. Please pray for me to pass the auditions.

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