She’s Just A Kid

Believe it or not, I taught Julia Montes (19 year old actress here in the Philippines) how to play the guitar. She is required to learn for her upcoming movie. Since it was new for me, I prepared for our lesson more than the usual. Dressed up nicer, an hour early and even bought my english with me. But it seems that I never needed any of it.

She’s just a kid. I don’t know how I concluded that one but she’s fun, she’s just talkative as me, with a good humor and simple. It was just like an ordinary lesson. What struck me most is that how she was enjoying herself with that simple lesson while having a gazilion responsibilities… well in fact, more than I do (I think).

During our lesson, they (production team and herself) tell me about the storyline of the movie, what the director wants her to portray, how the director wants her to portray it, meetings and so much more. In between those are our breaks where she just talked about fun stuff like how she enjoyed studying baking lessons with Kathryn Bernardo recently emphasizing on the list of what they baked that day and how good the cakes were.

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When I got home, she and I exchanged pictures from viber. I posted 2 of our pictures on instagram, shared it on twitter and facebook. I never got that so many likes, favorites and retweets. Damn. I didn’t use much hashtags either. My phone was buzzing nonstop and almost got irritated. But this kid having almost 3 million followers on twitter, 500 thousand followers on instagram and hundreds of fake accounts… I wonder how she lives her life privately? How does she handle it?

If it was me, I may never want that side of the job. Let’s face it. We always wanted attention but that much? It was just too much. And that was just 2 instagram posts. Imagine if she was the one posting it. Maybe 20 times the attention I got?

She’s just a kid with a bunch of responsibilities and too much attention. How do you become a kid and cover it because you need to? I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying. lol.

I don’t appreciate movie actors and actresses before. I do watch pinoy movies but not all the time. I’m not a fan girl, I don’t care about their personal lives and gossips like other people do.  I think Julia made me appreciate them. It was nice that I met her.

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I Don’t Wanna Be Ordinary… Nor Special.

Today, I realized that I don’t wanna be ordinary… nor special. Is it weird for me to think that way? I really don’t know how to explain it. When I was younger (maybe 10 years younger), I wanted to be an icon – an actress, a singer, a musician, a painter or just someone famous. Apart from me being talkative and really out going, I have no problem with people at all… singing, playing, talking, acting on stage is nothing and I love being on stage, no nervous breakdowns or anything similar, I wanted to make a difference – jeez it’s lame and this is overused already. Let me put it this way, I have this thing called perception in life. And my theory is that if only people look at life the way I do, things would be simple, easy and beautiful. But at that time, if I try to say anything about “it” and open words or realizations and reflections, I would be super duper uncool. That is why I wanted to be famous. I wanted to establish a name and/or a reputation so that I wouldn’t be judge. Silly, am I right?

But after all I’ve been through, problems in my family, relationships, friends, school, career, work and everything else in between, I don’t want to dream the same dream. Now, I think that I’d like to work behind curtains and cameras in life. I know most of us wanted the spotlight, it’s a good feeling but I think it’s far too complicated and my life has been a mess and there are a lot of consequences that comes with it. I am longing for simple and care free life. Though we can’t avoid problems along the way, I couldn’t care less at all. I realized that I love living backstage at life. I am a family kind of person whatever I dream of, I dream for them. I never had a dream (the usual one, like I want to be a doctor someday stuff). I was and always be contented just as long as my family is safe, healthy, happy and we can eat three times a day… that’s that. Today, I realized that whatever it is I dreamed of doing, I keep coming back to that simple thing and I am always joyful and contented with that. Other than that, I’d like to make a big money so that I can go volunteer and provide on charities and different foundations… or maybe start one. I like it the way it is.

I don’t want to be cool. I don’t want to fit in. I don’t want to stand out. I don’t wanna be ordinary. I don’t wanna be special. I want to be in somebody’s (a family, a friend, a lover or anyone) life, never leave and make sure I love more than anyone could possibly do.