Loving (Original Composition)

Stanza 1:
What would happen if we both care?
We steer the wheel to chances
And break through faith with despair

What would happen if we both love?
We are over faking smiles and
Dodging glances at each other

Chorus:
We are in it for a reason
We can’t get out of it for a reason
Let’s not get our hopes up
Cause we’re never getting out
Of this two-way street of falling
Compelled desperately of loving

Stanza 2:
One way or the other
We’d like an escape
From this emotional suicide
Of humanity and we’re hurt

But one way or the other
We’d like to be stuck to each other
Hands chained with letters
Of admiration and we are fine

Bridge:
Love is traitor holding us back
But love is a creator of what we live for
Love is a chance of forgetting weakness
And we can all be screwed up but only to love

I’m supposed to do work stuff today but instead I got lazy enough to watch a marathon of vampire diaries. Quite distracted and inspired in one scene, paused it for a while and made this poem and turned it into a song. Not done yet, made a melody for the chorus part (on bold).

This is about falling inlove – a trap that we can’t ever handle and we never knew. It is what we want and don’t want at the same time and we don’t actually have a choice. Sometimes we love enough but if we get hurt, we want to turn off the feelings and only think of ourselves.. just so the pain will go away. It’s pushing and pulling of nature.

I got inspired with the series. I was watching season 3 when Elena was almost giving in that she also wanted Damon.

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Are You Foolish?

Let’s see how this works… How do you know if someone is a fool? At what point would you consider yourself foolish? Are their really foolish things to do? Or is it just foolish because somebody told you it is?

LOVE. It’s that 4-letter word again. La-la-la-love. Are we really fools out of love? Or we just can’t accept its magic on us? If you love someone who doesn’t and will not ever love you back, is that foolish or is it selfless love? If you stopped and ruined a wedding ceremony because you know he can’t be with her, is it foolishness or is it courage that seeks you within?

What if we just hate to admit how deep we can go and instead blame it to foolishness in this world? What are we afraid of? Why is it that it feels like that foolishness is more acceptable than being screwed up in love? Why is it even labeled as being screwed if we give in to it?

And I Love Her (Original Composition)

Hinawakan mo lang yung kamay ko, nagawan na kita ng kanta! Kinulam mo ba ako? Bakit patay na patay ako sayo? Translation: You held my hand once and that made me make a song for you! Did you put me under your spell? Why am I so into you?

AND I LOVE HER

Stanza 1:
She keeps me awake at night
Just when I needed to take a break
She doesn’t want me leaving
But I like the way I know that she will miss me so

She doesn’t stop making noises
Just when I need to work on my computer
She doesn’t want me giving away attention to something else
But I like that way of she wants me more than I can ever know

Chorus:
She is the dream that I have been waiting since a long time ago
She is the pain that I am not willing to let go
She is the noise in my beating and the silence in my yearning
She is the robber who stole my worries far far away and never gave it back

And I love her…

Stanza 2:
She keeps my head on straight
Just when I got my alcohol attack
She doesn’t want me drinking
But I like the way I know that if I did, I’d still be ok

She doesn’t stop making excuses
Just when I avoid taking my pills
She doesn’t want me weak
But I like the way I know I can be strong even if everything goes wrong

Bridge:
There she is looking at the bright blue sky
In her faded jeans, chucks and her vintage top/shirt
There she is looking at me like I am beyond ordinary
In her faded jeans, chucks and her vintage top

Held my hand… and I can never understand what it means but  I know exactly how it feels…

And I love her…

Click this link to listen to the audio: And I Love Her (Original Composition)

I’m back to my 50 % straight self. Yes, gay that is.

Just so everyone knows, I’d like to announce that I am bisexual. I like boys and at the same time I like girls too. The things is… I don’t like it. I want to be straight – it’s a looooong story.

So it has been almost 2 years since my last relationship (a girl) and ever since then, love life isn’t my priority. For that time, I felt that I am 90% already. Ha! Ha! I had real guy crushes but had unavoidable girl crush last year. I got over it – yes, the girl part. It was just a phase and I am back to really liking guys as in like “like”.

Last saturday, I went home 70-80% straight. Is it weird that I measure my straightness? Lol! So what, who cares? Hahaha! What happened? – that’s the question. 

Incident #1: I was kissed by a friend (girl). Well, not lips to lips… just on the cheek. I felt weird about it because it was just out of the blue. We were not saying hello or goodbye. We were having a light and fun conversation. I was joking around because I waited for her for 3 hours.  She was saying sorry and suddenly kissed me. I acted like nothing happenee and continued fooling around.

Incident #2: While we were waiting for the train, still having that light conversation and fun fooling around, she tried to hold my hand – as in the one with interlocking fingers. It didn’t last long cause I was really distracted. I think I looked at our hands and she felt conscious or shy about it?

I don’t know. Right now, I am really confused because I was having this super duper tiny crush on her and I like that we were getting close. I got really confused on what she did because I know she is straight… though I sensed it the first time we met (I don’t have a crush on her at then) that she has tedencies and my gay and lesbian friends said that themselves too.

I was aking myself the questions like Are there girls that are just too clingy, touchy, and expressive to that extent? Do some girls really kiss other girls on the cheek for no reason or as a regular expression and without intention?  And if she knows that I am bisexual, shy whould she do that? Does she know that maybe I would think of it differently?

Seriously guys, if you have answers to my questions, please feel free to do so cause I can’t stop thinking about her since that day. I don’t want to expect anything and seriously, I am really avoiding myself to like girls. So there, I am almost going back to my 50 % straight self.