The truth about forgiveness is that if you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean the following:
1. that they are sorry.
2. that they won’t do it again.
3. that they’ll be better than before.
The thing is that we have to live with that. We can’t control everyone and definitely can’t dictate others what to do cause they have their own lives to live and own decisions to make.
We forgive because it’s the right thing to do. We forgive to make peace with somebody and find peace with ourselves. We forgive so that we could let go and move on. If we hold grudges then we will always be stuck on the same page.
This is another post from my old blog. Dated April 3, 2013.
We watched The host last night. I didn’t expect that the movie was great. I didn’t expect the story to be great either. I thought it was just another lovesick story of Stephenie Meyer like the Twilight Saga. Don’t blame me. Twilight Saga was really good. It’s just that it was too much. It was full of vampires, the love story and the forever thingy. Maybe because it was too mainstream that I can’t appreciate it that much anymore. Anyways, going back to the movie, it was really great.
It was not an action packed movie that you get to hold on tight to the one beside you and that you can’t even blink because you can’t miss a scene. It was not the movie but the story – especially the lessons in it.
“It can only be captured by kindness and love.” – Wanda
That line shot me the most.
Maybe there’s just too much battle we see in this world that we never get to trust that easily or even doubt a stranger of his capabilities of being good to us. Or was it really the pain we experienced with our previous struggles in life that we can’t see how anyone can ever heal us? There’s just too much chaos around us. Everyone is sick of it but almost everyone does nothing to change it. We don’t want it changed. We always want revenge to our enemies (those who hurt us). Why consider them enemies in the first place?
When somebody punches you, you’re natural instinct is to punch him back. Right? Then what happens next is you keep knocking each other until one goes down. Does this really need to happen?
When somebody lies to you, you want to lie the same way? Or if not lie, backstab that person until he’s ruined?
Everyone wants peace but we keep on doing what we are doing as humans. We have lots of capabilities and we can’t even consider that we can do most of them. It’s just that we are not used to it.
If someone punches you, walk away and let go. If he calls you a chicken, a loser or whatever it is he might think of, let it go. Forgive.
If I am not going to believe in myself and all the things I can do, who would?
I had this heart to heart conversation with my barkada (this is a tagalog word which means “circle of friends” or “one of your circle of friends). It’s about all my problems for the past 4 years and it’s with every aspect of my life – family, friends, lovelife, school, work and many more in between. My friend, Lia, asked me why am I too positive about all things and how come I am not breaking down at this point?
I never noticed it since our conversation but I reflected at that moment and answered her, if I’m not going to believe in myself, who would? If everyone else lost their faith in me and believed more in what other people would say, what’s the point of worrying about how they think about me? It’s useless and my body can’t handle anymore hurt in my life. Whatever happened, I just thought that I can make a good out of it like for example, I made it as an inspiration to write poems and songs for my band. Other thoughts came in like a series of flashbacks of what happened but the biggest learning that I had is that I said to myself that I would never want to be like them. I would never ever do the things they did to me to other people… ever. Whatever it is, I believe in mercy and nobody is ever worth hurting.