Wanting Two Places At The Same Time (Part 1)

I was just browsing my instagram feed earlier then I cam across my friends’ profile. They’re baristas (oh no, not in starbucks) and they really like making coffee. It is their passion. Saw pictures of them making coffee in different stores & restaurants here in Manila, competing in different contests in asia and now videos of them at brewing a coffee in the US. I’m happy for them and at the same time inspired… also somewhat jealous, I guess?

It is inspiring how people chase their dreams especially when they finally reached it. I just love the idea. I want that too. But somehow dreams, I guess, it’s not the right time for me yet. Everytime I try to push myself to chase that dream, problems come along the way waving a banner telling me STOP. Well at least for just a while.

Seeig their instagram profiles made me dream better. We don’t have the same passion or dream but I am hanging on to mine. I want to be a singer songwriter and a performer someday. Who knows maybe not just here in Manila but maybe I can share my songs to the whole world too. I said to myself NO. I WANT THAT TOO. STOPPING WON’T DO ME ANY GOOD. I’LL CHASE FOR IT EVEN I MAKE BABY STEPS FOR YEARS. AT LEAST I AM NOT STOPPING.

Someday, I’m not going to stay here stuck with my problems at home and at work. Someday, money can’t hold us back. Someday, I will make my own songs, perform around the world and be paid for it. Someday, I will share my talent and finally make a foundation teaching and helping street children music for free. SOMEDAY.

I hope that SOMEDAY will be SOON.

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Hello 2015! :)

Oh dear blog, I know you missed me so. I am really sorry for leaving you for months now. But anyway, hey hey hey! I missed you and my readers too! 😉

It’s 2015 and I made a lot of promises that I should keep. Say hello to my New Year’s Resolution:

1. Always make time for myself. I know I’ve been preoccupied with a lot of responsibilities with my family and work but I will not let that happen again. May it be on a coffee getaway for a few hours or a movie marathon, let it be. And this time, I’ll make it a habit that I will make time for myself at least a few hours a week.

2. Always make time for my passion – MUSIC and songwriting. No matter what happens, I will not leave my music behind. I will not be too occupied with teaching to a point that I can’t write songs anymore. My goal for the year is to record at least 3 original songs and release at least 1 of them.

3. BALANCED TIME for family and friends. It’s not that it wasn’t balanced last year. I’ll make it to a point that I get to always have a family time and a time for my different group of friends.

4. BUSINESS. To establish a stable business enough to sustain me and my family.

5. BLOG. I’ve been so busy at the last quarter of 2014 that I can’t even post 3 sentences on my blog. That was so unhealthy for me. Blogging is an outlet for me and it keeps me sane. It helps me reflect on the things I do, my goals, and all the other possible stuff I can think of. I promise to make a blog entry at least once a month.

6. FAITH. To always pray the rosary. Make it a habit to go to mass regularly every sundays. Pray the rosary every night and make time to visit the church on ordinary days.

7. DREAMS. Build bigger dreams and reach for it.

It’s mostly about time. I’ll try my best to achieve my goals. The first few weeks of 2015 taught me that I can dream better. I know it’s good to be contented but what if we can have more that what we think of, why not aim for it right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 🙂

If I Had A Normal Life, Would I Still Be Extraordinary?

I am sitting here alone eating lunch at a japanese restaurant. Beside me is the table of a family. I can’t help but to listen to a few conversations. The daughter is asking for her mom to buy her something – her mom said yes. The son is asking advise from her (ate/older sister) – her sister gives advise. Finally, the dad paid the bill.

I envy them a bit. Actually, I’m sort of jealous to normal-functioning-typical families. I get jealous to my students’ family because parents pay for their lessons and every summer they go out of town and vacation. But most of the time, I get jealous when their parents are telling their kids what to do and discipline them. I think I never had that.

So here I am sitting thinking about my stress earlier before I got here – my mom is complaining because I don’t give her money anymore, my dad is pressuring me with things I am handling already. They always wanted too much from me but I don’t see them putting an effort. There is a whole big story about this but basically part of me says that I raised my parents rather than the other way around. There’s too many problems at home to a point that I don’t mind it that much and just go on with my life keeping a positive attitude about it — most especially patients and understanding.

There. I’m longing for that kind. I wanted to be supported in my studies. I want to ask money when I go out. I’d like them to buy me gadgets for my instruments. I don’t want to buy washing machines, refrigerators, coolers. I don’t want to budget our money for the week and I don’t want to worry on how will I make more money the next month. I don’t want my little sister depending so much on me than on them.

But there’s the challenge there. If I got all I wanted from my parents, will I still be me? Would I still be this hard working? Would I still be so patient and understanding to everyone I meet? Would I still be good in budgeting and handling money? Would I still be more concerned to my family and others or will I be thinking of myself only?

I think not. What we have and don’t have is what makes us. Our experiences build us and our goals strengthen us. We can’t cheat life. We can’t skip the harder struggles because we won’t be anything if everything is already given on a silver platter.