This World Needs Healing

Ok, maybe not that rich or not even rich. Maybe having enough is fine with me. Enough meaning we can pay our bills on time without killing ourselves on work, having our own house, having our own car, having a stable business & career, having emergency funds and savings.

So when I reach that point in my life (and I will), I want to do the following things:

1. TEACH STREET CHILDREN FOR FREE. I’ll coordinate with barangay chairmans & different churches. I’ll get my musician friends to help me teach and we’ll get sponsors. It would be a great opportunity for them to appreciate music and for them to be far away from drugs and other violence on the streets.

2. Buy a lot of rain coats and during rainy season, go around the streets and give it away to people who needs them. We’ve been to a stage where we almost lost our hope but people (especially our friends — yes, more than our family) helped us and I couldn’t express how thankful I am for them. So I promised myself that I will never their help for granted and do the same thing to others. Manila streets are not ready for a rainy season. Even those with houses are not prepared. Beggars don’t have any shelter. They use cardboards so that they won’t get wet. At least with raincoats, they are somehow protected.

3. Go to the HOME FOR THE AGED regularly — tell stories, sing and perform with them, play majong and cards and many more. I love older people but sometimes I feel that some children don’t show their appreciation that much to them. They have a few years to live and I want to give them good memories. It hurts me to see them lonely, unappreciated and unwanted.

These are my TOP 3. I know in time I’ll have a longer list. I hope I can have the chance to do these things especially while I am still young. 

I know papa God will guide me in this life. I won’t make money be my hindrance in doing these things. I will work hard so that my family could have enough. When we have enough, it would be our time to give back.

This world needs healing. Soon everything will set in to place.

What are you willing to risk?

Last night, I got caught up again with the never ending conflict of me building my dreams versus me doing responsibilities for my family (doing work). In my heart, I know that part of me screws up my work because I don’t want to do that anymore. But I can’t stop. If I do, then where will I get money to pay bills? My dream is still in progress. I don’t know exactly what I wanted to do but most probably it is related to music. Song writing, performing, I guess. Main conflict would be I can’t earn money right away if I just perform my compositions. That takes hell a lot of time just to sell myself out to the music industry.

The question hit me. I have no answer yet. But I was wondering if I ask the you the same thing, what would your answer be?

What are you willing to risk in order for your dreams to come true?

Is it your job? Is it time? Is it your relationships around you? Is it the money? Is it your health that you are willing to sacrifice?

I Pick Money Over Family

No. It’s not like that.

Lately, we’ve been dealing with financial problems. We’ve been working 5 times as hard as we normally do. We’re not poor yet (oh no, please no!). We can still buy the things we need and eat 3 main meals a day with desserts and midnight snacks. It’s just that we need to control it. We might have something to spend this month but we’re not assured for the following months. That’s what stresses me a lot… but I think it’s a better problem. MONEY. Tsss.

It’s better. I’d rather choose a money problem than a family or relationship problem. Money is just money. It can be paid off through hard work. It’s like 1 plus 1. But relationships – lots and lots of complications on different angles. It’s like solving trigonometry combined with chemistry and a physics solution. It’s a long process and you can’t control everything.

I’m telling this because I am happy. Happy because my family and I are ok. We are far better than before. No conflicts with my dad, my mom, my sister and lola. There are few little things but we don’t make a big deal out of it. We work together in solving this money problem and we exchange thoughts – oooh, I never imagined how can we be so sensitive with each other’s needs but it feels so damn good.

I know I have been longing for this for a long time. It was always me doing everything and I am the one left behind by friends, ex, loved ones. Now this, coming from my Family? It’s the best feeling ever. That feeling that you are noticed. It’s like they recognize you in every hard work you did. I feel loved. Or maybe it really just takes time huh?

Money. I’m so stressed out with that word right now but I’m good with it just as long as my family stays happy and healthy.

Thank you Papa G! 🙂