Hello 2015! :)

Oh dear blog, I know you missed me so. I am really sorry for leaving you for months now. But anyway, hey hey hey! I missed you and my readers too! 😉

It’s 2015 and I made a lot of promises that I should keep. Say hello to my New Year’s Resolution:

1. Always make time for myself. I know I’ve been preoccupied with a lot of responsibilities with my family and work but I will not let that happen again. May it be on a coffee getaway for a few hours or a movie marathon, let it be. And this time, I’ll make it a habit that I will make time for myself at least a few hours a week.

2. Always make time for my passion – MUSIC and songwriting. No matter what happens, I will not leave my music behind. I will not be too occupied with teaching to a point that I can’t write songs anymore. My goal for the year is to record at least 3 original songs and release at least 1 of them.

3. BALANCED TIME for family and friends. It’s not that it wasn’t balanced last year. I’ll make it to a point that I get to always have a family time and a time for my different group of friends.

4. BUSINESS. To establish a stable business enough to sustain me and my family.

5. BLOG. I’ve been so busy at the last quarter of 2014 that I can’t even post 3 sentences on my blog. That was so unhealthy for me. Blogging is an outlet for me and it keeps me sane. It helps me reflect on the things I do, my goals, and all the other possible stuff I can think of. I promise to make a blog entry at least once a month.

6. FAITH. To always pray the rosary. Make it a habit to go to mass regularly every sundays. Pray the rosary every night and make time to visit the church on ordinary days.

7. DREAMS. Build bigger dreams and reach for it.

It’s mostly about time. I’ll try my best to achieve my goals. The first few weeks of 2015 taught me that I can dream better. I know it’s good to be contented but what if we can have more that what we think of, why not aim for it right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 🙂

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She’s Just A Kid

Believe it or not, I taught Julia Montes (19 year old actress here in the Philippines) how to play the guitar. She is required to learn for her upcoming movie. Since it was new for me, I prepared for our lesson more than the usual. Dressed up nicer, an hour early and even bought my english with me. But it seems that I never needed any of it.

She’s just a kid. I don’t know how I concluded that one but she’s fun, she’s just talkative as me, with a good humor and simple. It was just like an ordinary lesson. What struck me most is that how she was enjoying herself with that simple lesson while having a gazilion responsibilities… well in fact, more than I do (I think).

During our lesson, they (production team and herself) tell me about the storyline of the movie, what the director wants her to portray, how the director wants her to portray it, meetings and so much more. In between those are our breaks where she just talked about fun stuff like how she enjoyed studying baking lessons with Kathryn Bernardo recently emphasizing on the list of what they baked that day and how good the cakes were.

When I got home, she and I exchanged pictures from viber. I posted 2 of our pictures on instagram, shared it on twitter and facebook. I never got that so many likes, favorites and retweets. Damn. I didn’t use much hashtags either. My phone was buzzing nonstop and almost got irritated. But this kid having almost 3 million followers on twitter, 500 thousand followers on instagram and hundreds of fake accounts… I wonder how she lives her life privately? How does she handle it?

If it was me, I may never want that side of the job. Let’s face it. We always wanted attention but that much? It was just too much. And that was just 2 instagram posts. Imagine if she was the one posting it. Maybe 20 times the attention I got?

She’s just a kid with a bunch of responsibilities and too much attention. How do you become a kid and cover it because you need to? I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying. lol.

I don’t appreciate movie actors and actresses before. I do watch pinoy movies but not all the time. I’m not a fan girl, I don’t care about their personal lives and gossips like other people do.  I think Julia made me appreciate them. It was nice that I met her.

Dark Chocolate Kiss (Original Composition)

Ignorance keep calling out my name
Tellin’ everyone that I’m the one to blame
But honey, she was wrong
I didn’t do anything at all.

Hard head, can’t feel anything
Turn the lights on, my vision has turned to gray
Soft lips, a dark chocolate kiss
Time’s up, say your goodbyes

Oh this feels so good
Oh I never wanted this
But oh it this is so damn good

Uh-oh I’m afraid to let you know
Uh-oh I’m afraid I like it so
Uh-oh no, no, no, no
Uh-oh no, no, no, no

Ignorance keep calling my name
Tellin’ everyone that I’m the one to blame

This is, isn’t is, isn’t what it is
I never felt that soft gentle lips
This is, isn’t is, isn’t what it is
I never tasted that sweet dark chocolate kiss

Waiting (Original Composition)

How long will I be waiting for you to be in my arms?
It’s so unending waiting for nothing

Stanza 1:
When we meet again,
I guess I’d stare at your face
The on that I can’t erase
There’s a missing page
Of the book
And I can’t complete the story

Refrain:
It’s not in me and I’m figuring it out
Let me ask you a question please

Chorus:
How long will I be waiting for you to be in my arms?
It’s so unending waiting for nothing

Stanza 2:
When we keep on running in circles
Too fancy enough like in a circus
Not laughing at all
Pushing and pulling and different directions
And I don’t know where to go

Repeat Refrain and Chorus

Bridge:
A happy thought inside my head
Smiles silently and whisphers goodnight before I go to sleep
Let me ask you a question please

Repeat Chorus

Written last December 3, 2013.

The Truth About Forgiveness

The truth about forgiveness is that if you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean the following:

1. that they are sorry.
2. that they won’t do it again.
3. that they’ll be better than before.

The thing is that we have to live with that. We can’t control everyone and definitely can’t dictate others what to do cause they have their own lives to live and own decisions to make.

We forgive because it’s the right thing to do. We forgive to make peace with somebody and find peace with ourselves. We forgive so that we could let go and move on. If we hold grudges then we will always be stuck on the same page.

Somebody (Original Composition)

Wake up Mr. Sun
Bring me some light
Bring me some space

It’s been so long
Since I’ve heard it cry
And the rain would not stop,
Would not stop crying

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Oh, I’m stranded in my room,
Catching for my breath,
I need some air

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Get me out of here,
Somewhere safe and dry
I need sunlight

Somebody, get me some help
I’ve been stranded in my room
Waiting for someone
To save me from this rain

I need somebody,
Somebody help me please
Get me out of this cold cold place
Keep me safe and dry

written August 22, 2013

Maya’s Turn: I Think I Lost Her

I found this on my old blog. This may be over a year ago but I love going back to blog entries I have written because it helps me know more about myself — how and why I am like this, how I think, how I build my dreams now. It also helps me learn things over and over again just to make sure I really did learn those things. Haha! Here it goes…

I never knew that she walked out on me until recently I find myself looking for her. I keep on finding her every other time because somehow and somewhere in my mind, part of me knew she existed. It wasn’t a dream. There goes flashbacks right in front of me. Scenes so vague and beautiful, so light and cheerful, contented and no longingness for something. I know her and I know she was there, she existed.

Have you ever had that feeling of being lost? I think I lost myself more than three years now. This is not the typical story of being lost – finding yourself, what you really want, etc. Not that one. I’m considering that maybe I didn’t lose myself. Probably, forgotten was the better word for that. Yes, forgotten.

I forgot who I am. I forgot what it is like to be me. I saw my plurk account yesterday. It was so random. I have nothing to do. So I searched for my older accounts. I saw my old blogs, my friendster, my myspace, my multiply. I was totally different, I think? From my old blogs, the way I think and see things – it was almost the same now but somehow I am sure I am wiser. Maybe it was with HOW I deal with stuff. How I am a happy-go-lucky-thankful-blessed-fun girl who talks to anyone and friends with everyone. Everything was real and true. Everything was light.  Myself, my environment, the people around me, the responsibilities and work I am taking. Somehow, I missed that girl in me. I don’t know where did she go. I think I lost her.

Maybe because I lost myself in giving everything to the ones important to me, to the one I love, to her specifically. That when you love, you have given everything you can give and everything that you can’t. It is when I realized that I had lived her life in her world and not mine. It is when I made friends with her friends and not find my own sets of friends. It was when I pressured myself to dream her dream and not mine. I tried to fit myself when I shouldn’t even tried in the first place. It was then I forgot who I was. And that was too much. I didn’t even realize it until the day I was left alone.

I miss her – that girl who used to be me. I don’t know where to start but I want her back so badly. I don’t know how to pick myself up. And I want to go to the ways things were before everything had happened or at least to who I was before everything fell apart.

 

He

Oh, he just needed to be loved
All the scars on his face,
the wounds in his heart

Oh, he just needs somebody
Save him from all he is,
Take him to where he can be

Love Is Easy

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. Real love is simple, everyday kind of thing. A smile, a hug, an encouragement. Continuous love without effort. –

-MFG

I recently opened an app on facebook. It’s called Message From God. Yes, people make these and somewhat share thoughts and advise to people. Maybe you can say that it is quite similar to WHAT WOULD JESUS DO. Or for non Christians more like a message from a fortune cookie or a horoscope I guess.

So there, the message above is the one I got. It made me reflect and agree to it. LOVE IS EASY.

We make it complicated. We make it hard to understand. We make it unreachable. We make it as if it is a big goal to achieve. But love is here and in everything.

You can get it with a smile, a touch, a tap on the back, a hug or a kiss. Love is a Hi or Hello from a friend or a stranger. Love is a sorry from your enemies. Love is respect for the elders. Love is a passion for your art.

Love is simple and it is not painful if and only if we love selflessly.

The only hindrance of love is to think too much of ourselves — to love and to ask for something in return, to love but to set limits, to love but don’t share happiness.

Risk Taker

I wanna fall in love deeply and I never wanna fall out of it.

Yes, that’s how strong I am and no matter what hurt me yesterday because I loved, I will never stop loving at all. I am willing to risk everything again and I am willing to be hurt again. Because that’s how you love, there are no reasons, no buts and you don’t give up.