Hi. I’m Tep, 25 years old. Stopped attending school in 2012 and I got a lot of effin awesome things to be thankful for!
Besides me managing our music school, handling around 45 students with different courses such as drums, guitar, ukulele and violin… I got a lot of job offers without me even applying for the position!
1. Hotel Manager in Subic. This was way back 2010 and my dad’s partners entrusted me with that position.
2. Marketing position in an airline. How awesome is that? I did an event for cancer institute of St. Luke’s and their head was really impressed with the impact of my work.
3. Music Teacher at a private pre-school inside White Plains (A subdivision for rich people cause of their mansions their).
Sometimes, I get too overwhelmed with what I can do that sometimes it seems like normal for me because I’m talkative, sociable and not shy to strangers. It’s just really flattering… everything! Considering the fact that I was a music student. I don’t have a background with the other positions.
I don’t know why it feels like it’s still haunting me but I don’t think I can ever go back to that place again. It gives me that feeling that I can’t even describe and that I am just sure that I don’t want it at all. But it’s weird that I have this longingness to go back.
I miss how I was when I was there. I miss the experience studying there. I miss the restless days and nights of practicing a dozen etudes and piece. I miss how it feels like when people around you overcriticize everything you play so intellectually and passionately. I miss how it feels to go on concerts on recital halls and auditoriums too boring enough for ordinary people. Mostly, I miss to have those kind of friends having the same passion and I miss that kind of someone who would always be there on a right timing.
But I can’t beause IT HURTS and it still does. Calling it (memories) a lie would be stupid enough for me to say just because I am hurt so won’t say it. But I am hurt. I can’t risk it. I don’t want that to happen again. I feel like there’s really a damage in me. A big part of me was broken in that place and I am just starting to fix myself again.
But I like those memories. I loved it and I miss it. But that’s what hurts most – the happiest and most precious time of my life. And I am starting to miss her again. I hate that I miss her (ex) again. I hate that I miss them (ex-friends and ex-bestfriends) again. I hate that I hate it.
To tell you frankly, I can’t even recall the details of what happened. I think my brain automatically deleted those parts because it’s just too painful for me too handle. I just know that I’m hurt and I don’t want to get hurt anymore.